Elvis isnt dead.
Really, he’s not. All of those conspiracy theories about Elvis faking his death are, you’ll be surprised to know, actually true.
He got a nose job, shaved his head and moved to Tulsa. He wears glasses now. The Clark Kent bit actually works pretty well. He’s run a NAPA auto parts store since 1977.
You see, he was a miserable man. Sick in the body and soul, when someone convinced him that he could make more money dead than alive and be free of that which tormented him.